In this episode of Eloquent Bartender Talks, I’m sharing some sneak peaks of all the travelling Jasinta and I did over the last couple of months. All imaginary, of course. But, oh so fun. We met God.
First and foremost, parental advisory! Parents (just the mine), stay out of this!
Hey Cyrus, what up?
Look at my glasses, man!
How crazy are these things?
I know, right?
Well, how else am I gonna get them boys looking at my boobs, if I don’t wear my boobs-shaped sunglasses?
I mean, even in my imaginary life, I ain’t got boobs, man.
Yeah, I know, it’s a sad sad story.
Anyways, wow, you have no idea how much fun Jasinta and I had, man!
Quite the journey.
Well, yes, we were gone for a while longer.
As it turns out, you cannot just walk into a pizza hut, with a robot, buy the pizza, and then just walk out, leave.
People wanted to take pictures, dude.
People were buying us stuff.
They were inviting here at their homes.
Cooked all sorts of fancy meals for us.
They were inviting us to their parties.
With djs, bands, artists.
Jasinta got laid.
I have pictures.
No, no, man.
I’m not gonna spy on my robot gal-pal and take pictures of her and some guy named (*SPLAT! – got slapped by Jasinta, so I won’t share his name, sorry).
I meant photos of everything else.
Of our awesome journey.
Man, I sure chose the wrongest order, no?
I guess we can call this an honest mistake… let’s move on and never mention it again, okay?
Where’s my drink, dude?
Yep, G&T’s good.
Make it a double, and squeeze some lemon in it, cool?
Double for Jasinta, too.
It’s on you, since you made us wait 7 years for a drink.
C’mon, sit Cyrus, I haven’t even begin with the story.
That guy has a full glass, don’t worry about it, sit.
So, after a week of parties with lots of crazy people, we ended up on a flight to the Seychelles.
Yeah, I know.
We met this cute couple, both photographers.
They were interested in photographing Jasinta, making sort of a whole edition of it, a collection of photos if you will.
This was at our last party for the first week of Jasinta & Me vs. the World.
I didn’t take over your robot!
No, you were keeping her locked here, man.
Yes, I know you made her, bla bla bla.
But, you never dared to take her out, people love this shiny girl.
I promise, next time, we’ll all go.
I don’t care if you don’t want to, who asks you?
You’ll go and you can be as boring as you’d like to, but you’ll go.
So, we’re at this party with this couple, out in the garden, we’re drinking wine, and our boozy, nonsense talk quickly turns into a project in the process of defining.
Jasinta, the robot girl, out in the world.
They’re (the couple) gonna do the photographs.
I’ll write the stories.
Next thing you know, we’re in a plane, flying places.
And, that’s not even the craziest part.
There was one point, I don’t remember exactly how it happened, how did we get there…
Listen to this.
We’re laughing, we’re walking on a beach, drinking wine.
And, after awhile, we come near this bay, and there’s this dude on a yacht.
It’s dark, we don’t see his face, but he invites us to his very private party.
There are around 25-30 people tops.
They’re all over Jasinta, asking questions.
I sneak out, and fall asleep in a room, and the bed is, man… heaven must feel like that!
I only want to like nap a little, but the bed is just it!
And, so I wake up the next morning, no idea where I am.
I go upstairs, I realize I’m on a boat!?
I look around, the sun reflecting on Jasinta nearly blinds me.
It actually blinds me, for a brief moment.
So, I’m slowly walking to them, and then all of a sudden, it’s Morgan Freeman, man.
I’m still recovering from earlier when Jasinta blinded me.
I can’t see exactly, things are a little blurry.
I’m blinking a lot, you know, to get a clearer picture of what’s in front of me.
Yep, Morgan Freeman.
I’m looking at him, I’m thinking…
Oh, God, I died!
He is in fact Morgan Freeman.
I knew it!
Oh, and this explains the heavenly bed…
Okay, how did this happen?
I’m just standing there, starring at God, hm… ahm Mr. God Freeman, Mr. Captain Morgan, okay.. Morgan Freeman, damn it!
Then Jasinta yells, she’s like “Giirl, how did you sleep? We didn’t wanna wake you up, you looked so peaceful…”
Okay, so I died peacefully.
I can live with that.
So, I ask Jasinta to come help me with something.
She comes, I ask her what in the ass is going on here, are we dead, who killed us..
Was it the boring dude who said that Doctor Who isn’t that good of a show?
Maybe we should’ve killed him!
Jasinta’s like “Dude, what are you talking about? Don’t you remember?”
So she explains everything to me.
No one died.
It was Morgan Freeman himself who invited us at his yacht party.
Remember, it was dark, we didn’t see who it was, then I fell asleep…
Jasinta saw him about an hour after we arrived, they started talking, of which you’ll hear the next time, bro.
Actually (I dropped it too early, damn!) I’ll come pick you up in a week or so.
Be ready, both of you.
We’re going exploring the world and shit.
Jasinta will fill you in on the deets.
Okay, gotta run.
Stay tuned for more on the adventures of Jasinta and me.