Previous Week’s Highlights – Slowing Down and Acknowledging Shit.
Earlier today, Angela and I started talking how we used to have so much fun doing things. We had so much, I’m gonna say, appreciation for even the plainest of moments. Ordinary everyday moments, like drinking my morning coffee just listening to some music I love. Spending a quiet night with some fiends, just watching a movie. Taking a late night walk around the neighborhood. Even when studying something I had no interest in, I knew how to make it feel less stressful and hard, and more like something I can even enjoy doing. There was a scenery. Like I would prep the table with scripts, materials, blank paper and different colored markers. I would always have classical music playing. Subtly, in the background. Then I would find myself conducting an imaginary orchestra, but okay. We’ve all done that, right? Right?
Lately, with the blog and everything, I’ve found myself often just “doing” things, finishing tasks, moving to other to-dos, rushing constantly. Simultaneously checking my e-mail, promoting stuff, planning for later… Even when I would decide to just pause, lay down a little, watch a movie, go out, any sort of break, my crazy mind just doesn’t agree! There are days when I would skip lunch and get through the day with just the breakfast. And I love eating! I love it! Plus, with my weight, I can’t afford to lose any, I mean, people are gonna start randomly offering me food, afraid I’m gonna shrink to non-existence right there in front of them.
I’m not complaining, not at all. I love this blog, I love that I work hard and have ambitions, it’s worth it. But, I don’t like that there are days when I’m too stressed and I just want to finish the post and then go to sleep. Then I finish it, and I’m already on to something else. I mean, it’s like I have no idea what I’m doing and why I’m doing it. I’m always busy, but busy and performing at the most productive level is not the same. It’s just not. That’s no good. This is not the job I wanna quit. This is something I love. I wanna experience every word I write, every photo I take, every critic, no matter good or bad (even when it’s bad, it’s good, ’cause you can learn new shit and grow).
And, again, I don’t wanna slow down that much and risk cooling off, losing my focus, and waste my time. ‘Cause this happens! But, I have to slow down so that I acknowledge what I’ve done, calm a little so that I can continue with the same energy and focus. I wanna drink my morning coffee peacefully, I wanna experience that sacred ritual and start the day with a good thought. If I wanna take a break, I wanna love taking that break, not freaking out that if I relax for even half an hour, everything’s gonna fall apart. I wanna enjoy doing shit!
So, slowing down – effective immediately. I’m gonna be good at this, I promise. For everyone’s sake. Previous week’s highlights below!
And how was your previous week? Any highlights you wanna share? Head on to comments, I’d love to hear all about it!